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You Would Love This

A BIHARI WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, and did not meet his wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar). 

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son. 

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbor’s take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?" 

The man explained, "If its the second neighbor who has taken care, then the name would be "DWIVEDI"; 

If it is the third neighbor then it would be "TRIVEDI", 

If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be "CHATURVEDI"; 

If its the fifth neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"... 

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? 

Then it would be "SHARMA"... 

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? 

Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then? 

"It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape?

Then it will be named "DOSHI"... 

Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? 

Then he will be named "JOSHI"... 

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?....

"DESHPANDEY."

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33 Facts about Guys

Girl’s r surely going to read it

*Believe it or not.......

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3 When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
8.  When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ..... so true.
10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
11. Guys love their moms.
12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
24. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
25. Guys think too much. ... disputed.
26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.
27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does! ... very true.
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
32. Guys hate girls who overreact.
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
Doesn't this all make sense?

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Sardar Jokes

Sardar and Police
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile, 

1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha
Doctor And Sardar

Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Sardar and Home
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
Sardar and prayer
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"
The real
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega
Sardar and Hitler
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"
Sardar and Computer
Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
Two Sardars
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda so hi jaye
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?
Sardar and Practical Exam
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

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Laloo Prasad's Bio-data

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks Bill Gates. 
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference:
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

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You Would Love This

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin 
Bar main daily jaata Hoon Main Maa ... 
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin 
Daru peekar roz aata hun Main Maa .... 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hain Na Maa... 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa... 

Theke pe Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe , 
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Main Maa... 
Pauwa lene Bhej Na Itna Door Mujko Tu, 
Ghar bhi bhool jaun main Maa... 
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa... 
Kya Itna Bura...Meri Maa.. 

Scotch main ,itna peeta nahi, 
Peg Se Seham Jaata Hoon Main Maa   
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin 
Lekin kabhi ludak jaata Hoon Main Maa 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata...Hai Naa Maa 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa ...

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Most EXPENSIVE CROWN

TIRUPATI:

Karnataka tourism minister and Bellary mine baron Gali Janardhan Reddy will probably be better known for something else: with an offering of a diamond-studded crown worth Rs. 45 crore, he became the biggest donor to Lord Venkateswara at Tirupati since the Vijayanagara kings 400 years ago.
The 20-kg stunner was a ``thanksgiving' ' gesture, the minister said. Sources added that 32kg of `aparanji (pure)' gold went into its making, besides 70,000diamonds weighing 4,000 carats. The 2.5-ft crown has a huge 890-carat emerald from Africa engraved in the centre which alone costs around Rs 10 crore.
The crown will be placed the Lord's idol during Abhishekam seva on Friday morning. It was earlier kept in the Vaibhavotsava Mandapam in Tirumala and special pujas were performed. After a ritual called Sahasra Deepalankara seva, it was taken around on a procession along with the deity, Lord Malayappa Swamy. Around 7pm, the crown was taken inside the sanctum sanctorum.
Keertilal Jewellers of Coimbatore in Tamil Nadu took nine months to fashion the crown.

There are no records of more expensive donations to the temple and Gali's donation is considered as the costliest gift offered to the Lord after the Vijayanagara kings in the 16th century. The Vijayanagara kings ruled from Hampi not far from modern day Bellary ...
With this offering, the total number of crowns placed with the Lord has gone up to seven. This precious crown has been added to the jewel treasury of Lord which holds over 11 tonnes of gold ornaments and vessels.
``I am in this position only with the blessings of Lord Venkateswara. This is only a small offering to the Lord. I believe in Madhava seva (service to the Lord),'' said Gali, who owns several iron ore mines.
The minister said his Brahmani Steels, once it starts operation, would employ 25,000 people. ``This I consider as manava seva (service to mankind),'' he said. Andhra Pradesh chief minister YSR Reddy's son Jagan has a large stake in Brahmani Steel that is coming up in the Andhra chief minister's home district.

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World's Largest Flower

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